welcome back to the blogging world :)

i was randomly looking up at my applications through my gmail and i stumbled upon this blog. Hmm. What a great way to start up blogging again.

I guess this place will be my 3rd home for now until i find inner peace. LOL 

What is love? I feel like each person i've dated, i thought i found someone i can be with for a very long time. 

The last person that i was in a relationship with, he was a good man. He showed me many things that I wouldn't have learned on my own.

What kind of man is he? He was a mature guy; he knew what he wanted in life. He's perfect. Why? Little things that he does. He's a proud type of guy. He doesn't want to lose face or looked down upon. I felt like i broke his shell. He acted goofy and immature around me. Our cute retarded nicknames.

What does all those have to make him so perfect? Isn't it like that in all relationships? Well yeah I suppose so.

I don't even know if he is perfect anymore. He's with someone new; someone who is now my ex-friend.

Where am I suppose to even begin with this. I'm trying so hard to move on. It's hard. I loved him so much and he chose to be with my friend. This friend i have always been jealous of. Him and his friends would always joke around about her, how great she was. It made me feel down under.

If he was perfect, he would have told me the truth. Told me that he's seeing her and not lied to me. Spare my feelings?.. I don't think so.

What you're doing to her. I dont feel bad for her at all. Everyone is shady. I'm shady, you're shady and she's shady. It's a never ending circle.

No matter what. How hurtful he was to me. I still love him very much. I know its time for me to move on because he has obviously moved on without me. But i just love him too much and i hope he understands one day that he will come back to me.

a little too many of my friends uses xanga (more like 3 or 4 now since facebook is taking over), i'll just express everything here.

RANT

ughh... you make me feel like a bad friend. and you yourself is a bad friend. i've been supporting you for so long and yet you just dont take my advice. i don't mind if you dont but... honestly.. why must you be a biAtch. lol first of all... TWO GUYS?? you chose one. and you go behind his back and hang out witht the other guy AND other guys. You expect so much out from that guy yet you're not doing your part of the relationship. He's my good friend too you know.
stop all the lies. i know you and him and together behind everyones back. i don't trust you anymore. i don't care if you don't tell me. Just dont lie to me please. I hate liars.
you try so hard to suck up to me because you know that i know your little secret. you truely disappoint me. you are one of the fakiest person i've ever met. "oh hey!! i miss you" *hugs*. *walks away* "oh i hate her so much." talk about fake... you talk behind everyones back.
you're a
cheater! social climber! LIAR(a bad one too)
I thought you were a good friend but... you're not. i support you but no support back.
when i really liked this guy... you didnt support me. when you liked my friend, i supported you, i helped you guys get together.
i helped you fit into the new school environment. i treated you like my best friend.
i'm very truely DISAPPOINTED.